Yuck!
This was...shocking.
1. Your pseudo-trance style doesn't match with the tune, nor does it even match within.
2. You crippled the melody by altering the notes in a way my ears shed tears everytime such a wrong note is hit. I appreciate your attempt of doing something original, but - without wanting to offend you - you failed by all means.
You really did rape the Green Lady. *sob*